Earlier this month a member of the Neat & Simple Living Cafe, and fellow Life Designer wrote:
"In doing my sorting yesterday, I realized Ariane and others are correct in saying there is an emotional tie to getting organized. First off, I gave myself a whopper headache sorting my paperwork into piles because it seemed like a HUGE task to me! But I got through it in one piece and the rest looks more doable to me now!
The emotions I felt yesterday were those old nagging negative words in my head - like how come I have this issue with papers at home? How come I put these important take action papers in this crate? What the heck is wrong with me? My emotional tie was anger at myself for continuing in a self defeating pattern!
But, with the great stuff on this and other sites..., I did not stay there too long. After I sorted and orgnanized, I was able to kick back and look at what I accomplished and see that it was good. [I didn't have to] worry about the next step right then, just relish in the accomplishment in a positive way!
My history of negative outcomes due to not dealing with my ADHD in the past has really made me have some habits that I need to drastically change and I need to stop avoiding things that I percieve I might be not so good at! I can do this stuff and figure it out and if I do fail to find a system that totally works, I can ask for help and tweak it to make it work simply!"
ME:VERY COOL! You are getting it!
It's not you that fails...it's the
system.
The simpler you make it the better it will work. Accepting your unique needs and ADHD traits and customizing systems to work with them is the key...but you can only do that if you relax and believe you can.
NO need to beat yourself up....you are AWESOME!
You can't stop your initial reactions completely...the key is to bounce back quickly and use self-talk to manage your emotional state.
With ADHD, the particular challenge is to realize that if you try too hard, then you really can't wrap your brain around it. But if you relax, and allow yourself become inspired and maybe even find the creative fun in organizing, you can become a really great organizer!
REPLY:
"Ok, so I am sort of guardedly excited about organizing, the parts I have completed are working and I am itching to get back to the rest of it! ... Look out, I am finishing this thing I started! Wahoo, it feels pretty good to be in control of stuff and not the other way around!"
I love it when another person stops agonizing and start seeing organizing as a way to take back their power and take charge of their stuff!
What's holding you back?
